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As we approach the holiday season, the emphasis on joy and connection can sometimes feel overwhelming. For many, this time of year brings up complex emotions—whether you’re surrounded by others or navigating the holidays individually. It's essential to recognize that self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Each of us has unique needs and ways to nurture our well-being.
Choosing Your Self-Care Approach
Self-care is about making intentional choices that align with your needs and nurture your mental, physical, and emotional health. This is particularly important during the holidays, when societal expectations can exert pressure to conform to certain ideals, especially around gift-giving and spending time with others.
Here are some realistic self-care strategies that you might find helpful, whether you’re spending the holidays with family, friends, or individually:
- Creating Your Own Traditions or Foregoing the Holidays: If “traditional” celebrations don’t resonate with you, consider changing how you choose to enjoy the holidays in a way that feels more authentic to you. Or you might simply want to consider it as time off to see your favorite movie, try a new recipe, or catch up on sleep without any holiday obligations. It’s also important to acknowledge that certain holidays may not be considered as such by others who may celebrate different holidays.
- Mindfulness and Grounding Exercises: In moments of stress or anxiety, grounding techniques can be incredibly helpful. Practices such as deep breathing, journaling, or spending a few minutes in nature may help you reconnect with yourself and your feelings.
- Reaching out for Support: If you want to connect with others and engage in holiday festivities but may not be able to, sharing your concerns and planning ahead may help. Arranging to connect with someone else through a chat or phone call, joining a community group or event, or participating in online forums may be helpful. A supportive conversation can buffer against holiday stress.
- Setting Realistic Boundaries: While it can be tempting to say “yes” to every invitation we receive, or we may feel obligated to do certain things, it’s important to think through our own comfort levels and establish boundaries. Reflecting on which events and interactions bring you joy and which ones don’t serve your well-being is important. For example, cooking a big meal can feel like an obligatory societal pressure. But it may be something that you don't have the capacity to do this year. If saying no is difficult, consider finding a trusted friend or family member to support you in maintaining those boundaries.
- Preparing for Emotional Challenges: The holidays can stir up a mix of emotions, from nostalgia to loneliness. Being aware of what brings you joy and what triggers you is essential in informing your self-care choices. It may be helpful to anticipate moments that may be difficult and have a plan in place—whether it’s a comforting activity, a supportive person in your life to call, or a safe space to process your feelings.
- Allowing Yourself to Feel: Embracing your feelings without judgment—whether that’s joy, sadness, or anything in between—can help reduce shame and stress around emotions that may not conform to societal expectations during the holiday season.
- Acknowledging Financial Stress: The holidays often come with a barrage of advertisements and social media posts promoting spending and gift-giving as essential aspects of the season. This can create a lot of financial stress and raise pressure to meet certain perceived standards of what to buy and how much to spend, or to feel guilt and shame for spending money a certain way that might not conform to what others perceive as priorities you should have for yourself. Figuring out what you are comfortable with and establishing boundaries is important.
As we move into the holiday season, may you find the self-care practices that resonate with you, allowing you to embrace the moments that feel right for you.
Respecting Others' Self-Care Approaches
Being receptive to others' self-care practices is equally important. If someone you care about seems distant or less present, consider checking in with them. Communication is key—offering your support and recognizing their need to uphold their own self-care practices can be incredibly helpful. Everyone navigates challenges in their own way, and a simple check-in can make a big difference.
A Disclaimer
The suggestions provided here are not a substitute for professional mental health advice. If you or someone you know is struggling, it’s important to seek help. Here are some mental health resources available in California:
- California Mental Health Services: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
- Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741
- NAMI California: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
- 211: Call 211